He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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