im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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