Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
