I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
