I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
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