We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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