I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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