Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We named our party play list daddy issues
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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