Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
