found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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