He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
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And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
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I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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