I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
