You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He better not be in your backpack
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
