fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
