haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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