just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
