I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
