Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
