dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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