I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Green mimosas i think yes
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
