You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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