i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
