Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
