Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
