I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
