please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He shit in the fireplace
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
