You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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