I'm eating all of the evidence.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
