I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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