I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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