Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
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They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
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That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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