I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
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You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
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I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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