Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
