So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
