hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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