I'm lost and stupid without you.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
