problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
