Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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