I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize