The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
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