oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
