I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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