So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
