im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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