Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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