I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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