Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
