so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Alive.
So much puke
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
