you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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