You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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