Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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