just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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