just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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