we're chasing vodka with high fives
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
