Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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