Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
