I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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