Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just puked most of my soul out..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
