the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
