I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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