dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
