idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
