Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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