I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
