I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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